you know whats the strangest thing? its CNY and i'm blogging. Never once in the many recent years was there an opportunity to go visiting with my partner and i've gotten so immune to it that I give up asking anymore.

It's Feb already, and I'm holding on still. Hoping for the best for us. Hoping against hope that you really will keep your word, and fulfil your promises made instead of taking me for a ride again.

I've been crying my eyes out because you've been away for a while, am I really so weak and fragile? Am I going to be so dispensable? Should I be strong-headed and stubborn instead of giving in and compromising and believing?

Hopefully, I do not need to press the self-destruct button because it's what I'm doing slowly now.